Dumber&Dumber Vs…

“What do the cruellest criminals do when they are all together?” This looks like the beginning of a joke, but still isn´t… Perhaps if I say “Simon West’s Con Air”, you will guess what the joke is. Wow! What a horrible film (in my opinion)! More than a blockbuster it seems a “blockbastard”! -Sorry for the pun.

Ok. Let’s start again. I am not going to talk about the ridiculous script, the non-existent sense of measure, the extremely confuse action scenes, or the inappropriate performances. I think that something better could have been done with the idea of putting together in a plane all the meanest delinquents. …or snakes-jose

…Vs Sideshow Bob and other semi-frustrated villains

Imagine that John Malkovich’s role in “Con Air” was replaced by his performance of Mitch Leary in Petersen’s “In the line of fire”. Maybe he would not lead the band of villains, but he would pose be a much more serious threat to Nicholas Cage.

And what if Ving Rhames’ role was substituted by Samuel L. Jackson’s mega-villain Elijah Price? Too fragile for turbulences, but quite an effective choice nevertheless!

Now, imagine that Steve Buscemi’s role as a kind-of-Hannibal Lecter was replaced by Lecter himself. He would make some witty mentions to Cage’s haircut and t-shirt, besides the very poor security in the plane. Lecter would probably be the criminal genius able to cope with the situation. However, it takes time for Lecter to make his plans, and I think he would be too focused on teaching Cage a lesson (Lecter is a very individualistic guy).

All in all, I don’t know anyone who would fit better the characteristics of the convicts´ leader than Sideshow Bob. The only objection is his poor criminal record (“homicide attempt? Is there a Nobel Prize for Physics attempt?”, he said in one of his memorable appearances). In fact he is no more than a frustrated villain, but there would be still a chance: Nicholas Cage is not Bart Simpson either.

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